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Housepets 5000 BC, Part 3
Housepets 5000 BC, Part 3 is the 95th arc in Housepets!. Characters *Sabrina *Maxwell *Peanut *Grape *Satau *Tarot *Ptah *Spirit Dragon *Pete the Griffin *Karishad *Ancient Cats *Ancient Dogs Plot Max wakes up Sabrina in the middle of the night, asking where Grape is. The tribal cats had kidnapped Grape and tied her up, leading her back to their compound. Grape frantically tries to think of a way out, telling herself not to mention that this situation pushes all of her buttons. Tarot alerts Satau about Grape's kidnapping. Max asks why he can't just burst in and use his powers to get her back. Satau explains that Grape was taken to "King" Ptah, his rival with whom he dueled for the power of the temple. Spirit Dragon did not want to choose, so she gave the runner-up an artifact of near-equal power. Tarot realizes that Satau's rival has just as much power as he does. Grape is summoned before King Ptah, who is a gray cat wearing an Egyptian hat, for a feast in her honor. As Grape is untied, Ptah asks her if she's seen anyone that "beheld the like of someone such as I," but Grape responds that she hasn't. As Ptah commences the feast, Satau enters, bringing with him Sabrina, Max, Tarot and Peanut. He tells Ptah that they all are guests and should be invited. Ptah begrudgingly agrees, on the condition that Satau's garrison holds the peace and they offer something in return. Tarot considers handing over the lantern or Peanut's 3DS, when Peanut suddenly jumps on the table, preparing to tell a story about a long time ago in a land far, far away where wars took place in the stars. As Peanut tells his story to the members of the feast, Tarot deduces that Ptah's hat is the source of his power, and would contain a lot of mana, so they plot to steal the hat. However Max is worried that taking the hat will change history, as it is used to keep the dogs from overthrowing the cats. Tarot reminds Max that Ptah is trying to "make mushy" with his girlfriend; whereupon he suggests throttling Ptah with his own tail. Satau tells Ptah he simply could've asked before "inviting" one of his guests. He also asks him to keep the others overnight and ensure their safety. Ptah agrees as he takes a sip from a bowl, before Grape asks why she wasn't consorted. Ptah tells her because it's none of her concern before she dumps the contents of the bowl on his head. As Peanut finishes his story the kits of the tribe are sent off to bed. Sabrina sarcastically tells him he just inspired the Hero's Journey and passages of the Mahabharata. Peanut asks how they are going to get Grape back and Satau explains since everyone is intoxicated and they can sneak her out when the moon is above the trees. Peanut grabs Satau and whines that his 3DS has only ten minutes left on it. Tarot notices Satau's dog garrison outside the walls, seeming awfully "pillagy." Satau tells her that it is just a precaution against the "treachery" of the cats. Tarot tries to explain that Grape, a cat whom they are rescuing, does not have the same negative traits as all cats. Satau takes this and tells her that Grape has the spirit of a dog, which doesn't surprise Tarot at all. As the gang sneak to Ptah's residence, Sabrina tells everyone she will be able to have the ritual ready once they get the hat. Max, with horrid realization, asks Satau if he ever told Grape Ptah had the power to level the place, which he didn't. Grape is inside Ptah's palace, insulting his hat, angering him. Ptah says he had given Grape everything and yet she still spits in his face. Grape tells him that he's not her type. When Ptah asks what "type" she is looking for, Grape replies she'd like someone who's "hunky" with bulging abs, pecs, and biceps. Ptah uses his powers to make himself muscular, causing Grape's collar to pop off. As the group forms a tower outside to reach into the window, Max catches a glimpse of the scene inside. Grape initially seems to swoon over Ptah, before whispering she desires someone who isn't a total jerk into his ear and slamming his hat over his head. She angrily states that she'd take someone who is sweet and considerate over an arrogant jerk with a stupid hat. This infuriates Ptah, and he subsequently grows much larger. Ptah bursts through the roof and throws Grape onto another rooftop. She lands on all fours, and soon Max crashes into her. Max tells her for the record he would've been fine with her "shmoozling" him until they got the hat. Satau and Ptah confront each other, their powers growing in strength, until they both revert to normal and calmly express their desire to fight one another. As the two engage in combat, Satau's dog tribe rushes over the walls to protect him, while at the same time Ptah's cat tribe call to arms to fight them off. The battle ends with the cat village being set ablaze, while Peanut, Grape, Max, Tarot and Sabrina escape on foot, with Max noting they could've done better. Peanut asks why Spirit Dragon hasn't shown up to stop the village from burning down, since she hates collateral damage. Sabrina and Tarot realize since they were the catalyst for the war, the Cosmic Lantern is making everything seem normal. Before they can make a choice whether to turn it off or not, the lantern shatters in Tarot's paws, unable to handle such a huge lie. Spirit Dragon appears in the sky, asking what's going on. Satau and Ptah try to explain themselves, but Spirit Dragon tells them they shouldn't be using their powers to destroy their rivals, but rather her rival. Ptah remarks that Dragon often gives mixed signals. As Spirit Dragon berates both for their actions, Satau attempts to place the blame on Ptah, who replies he was only trying to impress the "purple cat." Inside his own temple, Pete manages to overhear this, giving him an idea. Spirit Dragon finally meets the group, feeling a very strong sense of preja vu, remarking how much they give off a sense of time travel, yet she does not recognize them. Satau tries to tell her they are her future avatars, but Tarot tackles him before he can reveal so. Satau asks how Dragon can fix this if she doesn't know, while Dragon frets about the reprocussions if Kitsune finds out. Tarot comes up with the idea for Spirit Dragon to block her memories of them in order to prevent spoilers about the game and Spirit Dragon agrees. Satau asks why that worked, and Tarot replies that demigods are picky about how they cheat. Satau says goodbye to the group, upset he won't see them again, but Tarot reminds them that all dogs go to heaven. Ptah gives Grape her collar back and lets her keep the bracers she is wearing. Peanut leaves the kittens with a famous quote from his story, and Dragon tells him that founding religions is her job (though she calls him cute, foreshadowing her future crush on him.) Spirit Dragon sends them back to their time, and erases her memory of them. The five find themselves back home in the temple. Grape questions if anything has changed. They are approached by a hooded figure, who it turns out to be Karishad, which causes everyone to faint except Tarot, who remarks that everything seems normal. Safely back at home, Tarot and Sabrina are watching TV. Tarot is upset with herself for not realizing that the demigods have their own agendas; and therefore would not allow for a time paradox to happen. Sabrina tells her playing safe was the right choice, and Tarot agrees, until she sees on TV that Sabrina had left a message to her dad on an ancient stone, asking when he would be coming home. Back in Egypt, Satau and Ptah are sitting on a hill, having been grounded by Dragon. Ptah is upset by this, but Satau admonishes him for taking Grape, as she was his responsibly. Ptah is hurt, telling Satau he acts like cats don't have souls, and asks how he was supposed to know that a cat could be Satau's friend. Satau replies at least he didn't tie her up and drag her to his throne. He then puts his arm around Ptah in a gesture of affection and reconciliation even while the cat grumpily continues to excuse his behavior. Events *The Cosmic Lantern shatters. *We learn Pete's original decision to acquire Grape as an avatar in The Grove was indirectly caused by Ptah. Trivia *This is one of two arcs to be split into three parts; the other being Heaven's Not Enough. *In Media Crazy, Peanut mentions that they don't talk about the prequels to his story. This is reference to the prequel trilogy of Star Wars, which gained notable negative reception. *The alt-text in Whoops calls back to Any Year With No Fatalities Is A Good Year. *In Blackest Night is a reference to the Green Lantern. *The quote "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering" is from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Category:Story Arcs Category:Comics Category:2015 Category:Celestials Category:Cosmic Nerds Category:Multiple Parts Category:20+ Page Arcs